What is VOW?
The Wellness Pointe's VOW Healthy Marriage Education Initiative is specifically designed to help build strong marriages. VOW is an innovative and interactive program designed to help young adult single persons and couples access information that will enable them to acquire the skills and knowledge necessary to foster and sustain healthy marriages. The program services 8 counties in Gilmer, Henderson, Longview, Marshall, Pittsburg, Carthage and Tyler.
What Is Your Love Language?
With more than 30 years of experience as a marriage counselor, Dr. Gary Chapman has heard it all. He has helped couples at every stage of marriage and at pivotal points in their relationships—from those just discovering the joys and trial of marriage to those who are ready to call it quits.
After many years of counseling, Dr. Chapman noticed a pattern: everyone he had ever counseled had a “love language,” a primary way of expressing and interpreting love. He also discovered that, for whatever reason, people are usually drawn to those who speak a different love language than their own.
Of the countless ways we can show love to one another, five key categories, or five love languages, proved to be universal and comprehensive—everyone has a love language, and we all identify primarily with one of the five love languages:
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Receiving Gifts
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
Marriage Mechanics
- Goal Setting
- Problem Solving
- Communicating
- Budgeting
- Living Together
- Parenting
Marriage classes can provide many benefits to you as a couple. Your marital relationship is a complex process of human interaction and the most important one in your lives. As you probably know by now, men and women think and communicate differently.
Dear VOW: With me and my husband, one of us always has to be right! How can we disagree without it turning into an argument?
You can disagree without evolving a discussion into an argument by simply agreeing to disagree. Before any more arguments take place, make the time to set some ground rules together. Here is a list to help get you and your spouse on the right track:
- Talk to each other in a calm voice. Remember not to yell or scream. Even if you get extremely frustrated, yelling is not the answer to get your point across.
Communication between individuals can be a powerful tool that nurtures positive feelings of love, admiration and respect. On the other hand though, it can create negative emotions such as hurt feelings or anger. Learning an effective way to communicate will help prevent conflict from damaging your relationship. Listening, though a silent act, is still an active part of communication. In short, listening is not a spectator sport!
Start with managing the time you do have alone. We all get caught up in busy work (doing something constantly) that can wait. Every moment that you have together should be spent wisely. You need to be proactive in planning your time together. Turn off distractions such as TV, the computer and work. Go for a walk or sit on the porch and watch the sunset. Taking time each day to share the day’s events and to connect with each other is essential. Affectionate gestures are also very important. It’s time to remind yourself how important small affectionate gestures can be.
